why deep connections matter

Why Deep Connections Matter

For me, connection is the basis of life. I want to feel deeply connected to my children, I want to hold my friends and radiate love. I literally rang a girlfriend the other day and burst into tears when I thought about my immense love and care for her. 

Connection doesn’t necessarily mean romantically, but if the universe delivers that, I want a connection that is happy in silence, that feels connected when apart, that can balance lighthearted fun with building a serious connection. 

Now more than ever, the world is in need of deep connections and meaningful relationships - not just with a partner, but with friends, family, and loved ones. 

Forget the surface relationships, we’re here for the deep connections - the ones that set your soul on fire, that you genuinely and whole-heartedly feel safe in. 

What is a deep connection?

“A connection is the energy that exists between two people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Our universal needs come in so many different elements, with connection being one of them. It’s a combination of belonging, love, intimacy, and support. When you connect deeply with someone, there is authenticity, honesty and security. It feels as though you're connecting on a deeper soul level.

When we connect deeply with another person, we: 

  • Experience a sense of serenity
  • Feel comfortable and safe enough to share things we need to get off our chests
  • Are more likely to give and receive trust
  • Build meaningful and long-lasting relationships
  • Are more likely to live a purpose-driven and fulfilled life

How do I establish deep connections?

Connecting with another person is about going beyond the surface to talk about what really matters to each other. Sure, small talk is nice, but it's the BIG questions we need to be having that allow us to build a deeper connection - whether it's with a lover or a friend.

Here are some ways to build a deeper connection with a loved one:

Be present:
  • When you’re with them, be with them. Fully and whole-heartedly. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by your phone or your surroundings - focus on the person you are with and listen to what they are saying. They will notice and they will reciprocate.
Show you genuinely care:
  • It’s pretty easy to tell when someone is only half listening to you, so when you’re having deep conversations with your loved one, be sure to show them you care. The more that you are invested in them, they’re more likely to reciprocate.
Have conversations that go beyond the surface:
  • Ask deeper questions (for example, “Oh, that’s interesting. What led you to that decision?”), explore the details by getting them to elaborate, and be a voice of reason, when necessary. And don’t forget to give support and encouragement.
Be your authentic self:
  • Authenticity is so important. For the relationships you really value, make sure you take the time to have meaningful conversations and really get to know each other. Ask questions, understand personal views and beliefs, show your true self. 
Pay attention to each others needs:
  • Always be kind and charitable to others, and you’ll get it back when you need it most.
To receive love, you have to give love:
  • The more you show love and kindness to people around you—friends, family, partners, co-workers, even strangers in public—the more love and happiness you’ll get back in return.
Practice gratitude:
  • Gratitude for those around you is always rewarding. Everyone you encounter in your everyday life is impacting you in some way so when you’re connecting with your loved ones, realise what you love about them and why you’re grateful for them in your life. It’s a great way to strengthen your bond.
Love unconditionally:
  • Don’t use love as a reward, and don’t take it away as punishment. Love your family and friends the same when they’re having a good day as when they’re having a bad day. If you love unconditionally, you’ll get that love in return and realize how much you really need it.

That warm feeling of deep, human connection is so important in maintaining our overall emotional and physical health. In fact, studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. Once you begin to connect with your loved ones on a deeper level, you’ll be amazed at the doors that open for you and your relationships. 

What does connection mean to you? Let me know in the comments below. 

Sophie x 

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